Some men have a strange way of doing things. They are ready to extend kindness and gentleness to others. As a gentleman, it seems to be an unwritten rule to extend such treatment to other people. But some men can forget to be kind and gentle to one person who needs it most- themselves.
Some are not even aware that they have this mindset. Some have it carried over from their younger years. This thinking could be because of society’s expectations of how men should be. This kind of treatment to yourself is a very unhealthy one. Self-compassion, or treating yourself with kindness, is a must. Here are some simple ways to get you started with it.
Be Attuned with Yourself
Sometimes, when you experience something unpleasant, you want to escape it. As a sign of false masculinity, you deny pain, shame, or loneliness. But, denial will not help you cope with them. Practicing mindfulness will keep you grounded. Thus, when you feel a negative emotion, acknowledge it by saying things like, “This is sadness, but it will pass.”
Meditating also helps. Sitting in silence for a few minutes is a good start. There are also Zen meditation courses online to help you connect with your thoughts. When you do, you gain a deeper insight into yourself.
Learn the Art of Self-forgiveness
Self-loathing seems natural when you fail to hit a target. You want to prove your superiority as the alpha male. Thus, failure is unacceptable. It is easy to judge yourself and magnify your shortcomings. You should learn to reframe the way you think about yourself. Recognize that your mistake is only a detour, not a destination.
Do not put your self-worth over some lapses that you have done that will not matter in a few years. Learn to acknowledge your mistakes, forgive yourself for them, and move forward. Using self-affirmation will help you. Encourage yourself that some bad behavior or bad decisions do not make you a bad person.
Make Gratitude a Lifestyle
Gratitude means knowing to appreciate the things around you and within you. When you know how to look for good things around you, you are veering yourself away from stress. You make yourself happier by learning to see the beauty around you and in your situations.
You can even be thankful for your sufferings and see them as a way for you to grow. When you choose happiness and gratitude, you are being kind and gentle to yourself. Be more vocal about your appreciation for the good things in your life.
Acknowledging what is good within you is a cornerstone for self-compassion. When you see yourself as someone good and worthy, you go easy on yourself. It is important to learn how to appreciate yourself. But, make sure that it does not border to pride or narcissism.
Know When It is Enough
Some people are natural givers. They find joy in extending help to others as much as they can. But, this act can escalate fast to unhealthy levels. People perceive men as the stronger gender. Thus, they could expect you to push yourself to give more.
Being too giving will drain you of your energy and your joy. In the process, you might forget that you are an individual that has some needs, too. Thus, it is important to know the right level of generosity. You must know when giving needs to take a rest. You can retreat and have some much-needed respite.
Love Your Body
Part of being kind to yourself is to give comfort to your body. This does not mean superficial relief. Think more about eating healthy foods and getting a good night’s sleep. Do not forget to listen to your body when it signals for you to rest.
You can also develop a habit of giving yourself a supportive touch. As a man, it may be awkward for you to reach out to others. You do not have to wait for somebody to hold you for you to feel comforted. Your body signals calmness to your brain when it receives a physical gesture of care. This applies even if the gesture comes from yourself. There are many ways to do supportive touch. You can choose one that is most comfortable for you.
Self-compassion can change how a person sees the world. Everything will be lighter because love and kindness spring from within themselves. Many people are more accustomed to being unkind to themselves. But, hope is not lost because you can unlearn this self-demeaning behavior. Self-compassion also takes constant practice. Do not get discouraged if you do not get it on the first try. Keep on practicing until self-compassion becomes natural to you. Then you can achieve wellness from within.